The Woman Who Went to Bed for a Year


The Woman Who Went to Bed for a Year, a funny and touching novel about what happens when someone stops being the person everyone wants them to be.

‘Laugh-out-loud . . . a teeming world of characters whose foibles and misunderstandings provide glorious amusement. Something deeper and darker than comedy’ Sunday Times

The day her twins leave home, Eva climbs into bed and stays there. For seventeen years she’s wanted to yell at the world, ‘Stop! I want to get off’. Finally, this is her chance.

Her husband Brian, an astronomer having an unsatisfactory affair, is upset. Who will cook his dinner? Eva, he complains, is attention seeking. But word of Eva’s defiance spreads.

Legions of fans, believing she is protesting, gather in the street. While Alexander the white van man brings tea, toast and sympathy. And from this odd but comforting place Eva begins to see both herself and the world very, very differently. . .

Reviews:

‘She fills the pages with turmoil, anger, passion, love and big helpings of wit. It’s full of colour and glows with life’ Independent

‘Hilarious and totally Townsend. There were parts where I laughed until I cried’ Daily Mail

‘Touching and hilarious. Bursting with witty social commentary as well as humour’ Women’s Weekly

‘A funny, poignant look at modern family life’ Daily Express


Queen Camilla


Queen Camilla is the brilliantly funny sequel to The Queen and I by Sue Townsend.

What if being Royal was a crime?

The UK has come over all republican. The Royal Family exiled to an Exclusion Zone with the other villains and spongers. And to cap it all, the Queen has threatened to abdicate.

Yet Prince Charles is more interested in root vegetables than reigning … unless his wife Camilla can be Queen in a newly restored monarchy. But when a scoundrel who claims to be the couple’s secret lovechild offers to take the crown off their hands, the stage is set for a right Royal show down.

And the question for Camilla (and rest of the country) will be:

Queen of the vegetable patch or Queen of England?

Reviews:

‘Brilliantly satirical’ Evening Standard

‘One of our finest living comic writers’ The Times

‘Brilliantly funny’ Closer

‘Another fantastic read from Townsend’ OK!


Ghost Children


Seventeen years ago Angela Carr aborted an unwanted child. The child’s father, Christopher Moore, was devastated by the loss and he retreated from the world. Unable to accept what had happened between them both went their separate ways.

However, when Christopher makes a horrifying discovery whilst out walking his dog on the heath he finds that he is compelled to confront Angela about the past. As they start seeing each another again can they avoid the mistakes of the past? And will their future together be eclipsed by those mistakes of yesterday?

Reviews:

‘Gripping and disturbing. Utterly absorbing’ Independent

‘Bleak, tender and deeply affecting. Seldom have I rooted so hard for a set of fictional individuals’ Mail on Sunday

‘Leaves one gasping for more’ Daily Telegraph

‘Startling and raw’ Observer


The Public Confessions of a Middle Aged Woman


Sue Townsend’s The Public Confessions of a Middle-Aged Woman (Aged 55¾) is a wonderful collection of non-fiction pieces, giving us an insight into Sue’s hilarious world. Sue Townsend is the much-loved comic author who brought us the bestselling Adrian Mole series.

Enter the world of Susan Lilian Townsend – sun-worshippers, work-shy writers, garden centre lovers and those in search of a good time are all welcome …

This sparkling collection of Sue Townsend’s hilarious non-fiction covers everything from hosepipe bans to Spanish restaurants, from writer’s block to slug warfare, from slob holidays to the banning of beige.

These funny, perceptive and touching pieces reveal Sue, ourselves and the nation in an extraordinary new light. Sit back and chortle away as one of Britain’s most popular and acclaimed writers takes a feather to your funny bone.

The Public Confessions of a Middle-Aged Woman (Aged 55¾) is Sue Townsend’s brilliantly witty collection on non-fiction pieces.

Reviews:

‘Anyone who loved The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole will enjoy this collection of witty and sharply observed jottings from the inimitable Sue Townsend. Great stuff’ OK!

‘Full of homely, hilarious asides on the absurdities of domestic existence … What a fantastic advertisement for middle-age – it can’t be bad if it’s this funny’ Heat

‘It’s as if Townsend has caught our idiosyncrasies on candid camera and is showing a rerun of all the silly clips … the ideal dip-in-and-out book’ Time Out


Number Ten


Behind the doors of the most famous address in the country, all is not well.

Edward Clare was voted into Number Ten after a landslide election victory. But a few years later and it is all going wrong. The love of the people is gone. The nation is turning against him.

Panicking, Prime Minister Clare enlists the help of Jack Sprat, the policeman on the door of No 10, and sets out to discover what the country really thinks of him. In disguise, they venture into the great unknown: the mean streets of Great Britain.

And for the first time in years, the Prime Minister experiences everything life in this country has to offer – an English cream tea, the kindness of strangers, waiting for trains that never come and treatment in a hospital – and at last he remembers some of things he once really cared about . . .

Reviews:

‘Wickedly entertaining. There is a gem on nearly every page. Nothing escapes Townsend’s withering pen. Satirical, witty, observant … a clever book’ Observer

‘Poignant, hilarious, heart-rending, devastating’ New Statesman ‘Brilliantly funny’ Closer

‘Hilarious. Sue Townsend’s laughter is infectious’ John Mortimer, Sunday Telegraph Books of the Year


Queen and I


 

THE MONARCHY HAS BEEN DISMANTLED

When a Republican party wins the General Election, their first act in power is to strip the royal family of their assets and titles and send them to live on a housing estate in the Midlands.

Exchanging Buckingham Palace for a two-bedroomed semi in Hell Close (as the locals dub it), caviar for boiled eggs, servants for a social worker named Trish, the Queen and her family learn what it means to be poor among the great unwashed. But is their breeding sufficient to allow them to rise above their changed circumstance or deep down are they really just like everyone else?

Bestselling author Sue Townsend has been Britain’s favourite comic writer for over three decades.

Reviews:

‘No other author could imagine this so graphically, demolish the institution so wittily and yet leave the family with its human dignity intact’ The Times

‘Bleak, tender and deeply affecting. Seldom have I rooted so hard for a set of fictional individuals’ Mail on Sunday

‘Absorbing, entertaining … the funniest thing in print since Adrian Mole’ Ruth Rendell, Daily Telegraph

‘Kept me rolling about until the last page’ Daily Mail